Screaming in the utility room!

So my husband and I are talking about another baby. I am all for it I think except I don’t know if I want to go through all of the disappointment, the first time is was three years of trying and then months of fertility and puking the whole time, until I had my little girl. You know when I was trying to get pregnant the first time it seemed like every one was having a baby but me. I went to several baby showers in the last year before I got pregnant. The last couple I almost did not make it through without crying. I am not sure that I can do it again, getting my hopes up just to start in the next couple of days. I am thinking that it is only going to be worse this time because I am now working in labor and delivery. I see a lot of great moms but when I have a mother who does not want to take care of their baby I just want to rip her head off now (not pregnant) so how am I going to be with all the hormones racing through my body?? I guess I will just have to breathe in and out, in and out, in and out, and then scream at the top of my lungs in the Utility room, and pray that no one hears me.

Fight over hair!

Every morning with out fail, there is a fight, between mother and daughter. This little girl wakes up bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready to start the day with a great big smile, she is ready to learn, play, explore, and just have fun. On the other hand, mom gets home from work just as her little one is waking up; mom is ready to crawl into bed, to sleep the day away as she did prior to the birth of her buddle of joy, having taken care of people all nigh long. Mom gets breakfast started; oat meal is in the microwave, little one in her chair, apple juice in her sippy cup. With oat meal all over the counter, little girl and in her hair the fight begins. Mom tries to clean off all of the oat meal, before she starts to comb her little one’s hair. A shrill scream comes from the little girl when she gets sight of the comb. “You’re hurting me!” she yells before the first piece of hair is touched. Mom tries to complete the task with out the painful removal of hair. Mother knows that some day again her little girl will again have her Daddy’s hair line. Alas, hair is done too cute for words and every one is happy.

My Favorite Thing!

My favorite thing in this whole wide world is nursing, the one perfect thing that I as a mother can do for the perfect little girl entrusted to me. The time spent holding her, examining her tiny fingers, gazing into those big blue eyes, stroking her curly blonde hair will never be again, for this month we stopped.I remember crying for days when she was just new because I could not get her to latch on, I felt that I had failed as a mother; I had failed her, my little girl. After what seemed hours of frustration, trying to nurse, my mom would come take her and feed her. I would pump and cry knowing that in 3 hours we would try again.Not until my little girl was a month old did we really click, at that time I was relaxed taking care of her, I was confident in my abilities as a mother. Sitting on the couch holding my little girl with her wisps of hair in my fingers did it dawn on me that she had not had a bottle in days, the flood of tears started again, we did it!Time went on I had to return to work. My little girl was not happy with a bottle for formula from dad; it was another adjustment that she soon made with only a few sleepless nights. Nap time was ours, my little girl and mine to lay side by side so close we were almost one knowing that we were there for as long as she wanted, nothing else was important but her. She would look up at me with her mouth full attempting to smile.How comforting to my little girl when we were away from home to know that her safe place was right there, mom was right there. She would venture so far and then back to me for soft reassurance that everything was ok. She would pat at my chest when she wanted to nurse, looking into my eyes melting my heart, asking with all her trusting abilities to nurse.Starting to talk was wonderful; the third or fourth word she said was nurse. When she would ask to nurse it was as if she were saying “I love you mommy, can we cuddle and nurse, please?” it was always so sweet.Eating new foods, such an exciting time for her, new textures, flavors, and temperatures, learning that this would soon be her only source of nutrition; nursing became less of a necessity and more of a comfort. An injury was always made better by nursing; it stopped the crying almost instantly. Bed time was easier when she was able to nurse to sleep.As she grew older and bigger I realized that this bond only we shared would shortly come to an end, for she would not need me in that way, but I still wanted my baby girl to come to me and only me, curl up so close to me that we were again almost one, look up in to my eyes and say “Nurse? Mamma Nurse?” giving me her smile that only I got.Now at two years old I have finished that part of being her mother more confident for the next. Yet still morning, this very short period of time I have had with my daughter to bond to be her world, these short precious moments we shared will always be my treasure the best part of sleepless nights. Nursing is the best thing that only a Mother and her infant can share. 2/14/2008

What I love about my Job:

1. I love the smell of clean baby’s hair that is soft.
2. I love seeing a father cry when he sees his little girl for the first time.
3. I love to help mothers breast feed and watch them bond with their new baby.
4. I love to see a mom hold her new infant kissing their head ever so softly.
5. I love to see a Daddy hold his new baby for the first time they are always afraid they will break them.
6. I love to see the joy when a child is truly wanted by a mother and a father.
7. I love to see a mother dress her new infant in new clothes pick especially for taking them home, it does not matter if they are from Dillard’s or hand me downs.
8. I love knowing that if this child never feels love again that I love it for a moment in time
I have been blessed now for over a year working in Labor and Delivery I still feel as though I would work here even if I won the lotery.

ER Experience

What I enjoyed about the ER:
1. Fast pace
2. New patients very often
3. Always learning
4. Building confidence
5. Working with experience, nurses with 10, 20, even 30 years experience.
6. Doctors willing to teach
7. Able to do every thing
8. Unexpected future
9. Opportunities for nursing growth
10. Feeling of helping someone else

Before I was a Mom

Before I was a Mom I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests. Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom -I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom -I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.Original Message Becky Kountz

Cup Feeding

How to cup feed a breast baby, first help infant to latch on for about 10-15 minutes. If infant latches on allow infant to breast feed, if not pump, or hand express breast milk in to a small cup. When there is sufficient breast milk available hold infant close to Mom’s bare chest to naked infant, stoke infants lips or cheek when infant opens mouth wide pour a very small amount in to the side of the infants mouth, allow infant to suck and swallow milk. Repeat Stroke lips or cheek when the infant opens mouth wide pour a small amount into the side of infants mouth allow infant to suck and swallow milk, repeat until infant no longer opens mouth wide or milk is gone. Remember to start every feeding with the breast first so that the infant realizes that is where dinner comes from eventually the infant will latch on. If the infant is very close to latching on including opening mouth wide you might pour a small amount of breast milk on the nipple and then place breast in infant’s mouth.