My First Blog Award!

Katie at Homemaking 101 has given me my very first blog award! Thank you so much! I write different experiences and share different things, but I enjoy reading other people blogs just as much as I like writing my own if not more. Katie, Thank you for this award I am excited to give to 5 other people, I enjoy these blogs all for different reasons.

1. Batty Nurse, who writes two blogs My life as a Nurse and I want to be a Mommy. Batty Nurse, is a Traveler she writes about her experience as a nurse and the her journey to Mother hood.

2. Elli, who writes ECing and Attachment Parenting, She is one of the coolest people I know. Ellie writes about everything. Ellie is one of the coolest people I know in real life. We enjoy getting together and listening to each other's bad Mommy moments and everything else.

3. Jody who writes Baby Catcher, Jody is one of the bloggers that remind me why I love my job so much. She shares her stories of Labor and delivery, her last post about Tuff Daddies is just wonderful.

4. The Triage Queen who writes Ready to Deliver? Triage Queen is a new blogger, but she just tickles my funny bone with her stories of Labor and delivery. Keep those crazy stories coming!

5. Betty who writes two blogs Army Mom and Geriatric Nursing. Army mom is about Betty's son and David in the Army. Geriatric Nursing is about the older population and good assessment tools that are at times missed.

Again thank you Katie, please take the time to visit any or all of these blogs! They are all great places.

Look at your Patients

I was reading a post from August 30, 2008 on Mitch’s Mom blog about a baby timer; she hit the nail on the head when she said parents look at your babies, it is true they will tell you when they need something. As a nurse I was taught do not rely on your monitors Look at your Patients. Well I worked in the ER before I became an OB nurse, one night I was working with an overzealous young nurse (not me) who saw on the monitor that a patient was in v-fib. Running from the nurses’ station she knocked over a doctor and two chairs. She was on the phone to the operator to call a code before she reached the room. She grabbed the crash cart on the way to the room nearly hitting other bystanders. She ripped open the curtain slung the cart in and laid the man flat. The family jumped up, asking what is wrong. The nurse did not even realize the stunned look on the patient’s face. Until I asked “what is the problem?” She said in a frantic voice “he is in v-fib!” I said “why don't you slow down and ask him how he feels first” she finally lays eyes on the man. She found a man not in distress, although a little nervous about what she was going to do, looking back at her. His reply was “I’m sure as hell glad someone was here to stop you before you started pounding on my chest.” I had been in his room explaining that he was going to the floor talking to him asking question. I had just adjusted his monitor so that we could see the tracing better. She scared the patient, his family and me, by her entrance to the room. I understand the sense of urgency when you have a strip that looks bad but if you hurt yourself getting there or scare the patient you are not doing anyone any favors.

Fears of another Baby

It is interesting to hear other mother’s fears and to know in an instant that Oh My Gosh, I am not crazy! On one of my previous post My Favorite Thing, Milk Mama left me a comment that I could relate too and did not even realize it until I read her comment. “Anna is old enough to be weaned, I'm sad about the fact that we may choose to add more to our family. Would we have the same connection as my daughter and I had? Questions like that.” As I read her words I understood my feelings of sorrow.
Never for a moment would I or Milk Mama be sad to add another baby to our families. I think we are sad, our first born is growing up the infant mother relationship is changing. I feel our babies are not totally reliant on us in every, they are able to go and do on their own. “No, mamma I do it myself!” I know I miss my little girl crawling up to me and asking in such a sweet voice “Nurse Mamma nurse?” I miss having her all to myself for a little while, just our time. I miss the being able to comfort her in an instant. There is nothing that will melt a mother’s heart faster than nursing your baby looking down and having her look up at you smiling with a mouth full of boob.
As a mother I know my birth experience will be different with the next child. I worry that our bond will be different; will they need me as much and Lena? Will they nurse as long as she did? Will I have enough the time, to spend one on one with the next child? When I had Lena she had all of my attention all of the time, I was not worried about anyone or anything else. The next time I will worry about Lena. How will breast feeding change my relationship with my daughter? Will I have time for Lena when I have another baby? What will Lena feel, will she be angry or will she try to be a little Mamma?
How will another baby change the family dynamic? How will my husband and I related to each other and our children when we have another baby? I feel as though I am now second behind my daughter, which is not a bad thing, but I miss our relationship before we had children. (A totally different Post) Will we feel neglected by the other when another baby comes?
I think these are all legitimate fears that most parents have to deal with. I know that I want another child; I want to repeat the wonderful things about Lena’s birth. I want to skip the hard things, I want to just fall into a routine that works where everyone has what they need. In a perfect world that is the way it would be, but nothing is perfect except the little life you create. As parents we travel over the bumpy roads, we endure the sleepless nights, we clean up the spit up, and we make do, just so we can have a glimpse of heaven watching our children learn, grow, and experience life.
I would like to know about your biggest fear when thinking about another child. How will you cope with that fear? Or how have you coped with fears of additional family members? Please comment here or post on your blog and leave me a comment that you posted. I hope that I am not alone.

Feast or Famine

August was a busy month for my little Ob department we had 35 deliveries which is more than we have had in 2 years. Every night in August I had patients which is quite unusual, but a nice change I would rather come to work and work although now that I am in school some quite time is good too. August first we changed to a new computer system that has increased the amount of time it takes to chart anything, so we have all gotten a lot of practice on Sorian (the name of the system).
My first week end of call last month I was out of town unfortunately because I could have racked up on the overtime which would have been nice. Then the rest of the month no one was called in oh well.
Now that it is September we only have 17 due this month so that means lots of low census which really stinks because we have to use our Personal Time for that, or we can choose to not get paid. I know I cannot afford that so I guess I will use some Personal Time. On the nights I work with little or no patients I will be doing homework!

What to do or write about?

Ok so I am so I have not posted for some time because I just did not know what to write about, should I write about school, and just how much fun I am not having? Should I write about how my husband is ready to have another baby, and how I am not quite ready? Not that I do not desperately want another child because I do I just am not sure that I can do everything at once. I work fulltime nights; I am going to school full time, and a mother to a 2 ½ year old. I will be done with my Bachelors in December but have discussed with my hubby about going on for an MBA and MSN which will take another 2 years then 2 more for the repayment of tuition. So that puts me done with school in December 2010 and then able to move in December 2012. That seems like forever but I have learned one thing about going to school it doesn't matter whether I go to school or not the time still passes in four years I will still be four years older (35) and it is my choice if I will have a MSN and MBA or not so I might as well start. My biggest worry is that as years pass it will be harder and harder to conceive. So I am not sure what I so do about having another child? With all of that to consider I have also gained about 50 pounds since Lena, starting out over weight with her I am ever worse this time around. So I think that starting to lose some weight while I am going to school will be the best move on my part. I keep trying to figure out why I have gained so much weight in 2 ½ years, the only thing that I can think of is that I changed jobs from a very active job working in the ER to a slower pace in Labor and Delivery. Since I have tried so many different ways to lose weight and nothing has really worked for me except working my tail off working. So I am still not sure what to write about, so I guess that I will keep thinking about what I want to share with the great big Blogging world.

TAG You're IT!!

I have been tagged by Julius at Life after infertility and loss. This is also my first time and am excited to play!

The rules are: Mention six quirky, yet boring, unspectacular details about yourself. Tag six other bloggers by linking to them. Go to each person’s blog and leave a comment that lets them know they’ve been tagged. If you participate, let the person know who tagged you you’ve posted your quirks!

1. I like to eat frozen fresh grapefruit; I buy the fresh grapefruit in the plastic containers and put it in the freezer until it is just starting to freeze. That is my nightly snack at work.
2. I love to scrapbook I have a number of them, but like most moms am not up to date on my little girl’s scrapbook I have completed up through her second birthday.
3. I lose everything, I lose my phone, my keys , my badge, everything, thank goodness my little girl talks so that when I call her name that she will answer. Not that I lost her when she could not talk.
4. I tear up the covers at night, everything comes un-tucked and my husband pesters me about pulling up the covers every night.
5. I have trouble keeping my car and house clean another thing that drives my husband nuts.
6. When I clean I make a bigger mess than when I started because I feel that to clean a room you have to take everything out, throw things away, wipe out the cupboards, then put things back in an organized manner, this also drives my husband nuts because he thinks that if you cannot see it then there is no mess, but I know that it is in the draw, cupboard, closet, box, or any other nook or cranny he can find.

I have tagged the following:
Martha at Giverny Circle
Ellie at ECing and Attachment Parenting
Betty at Army Mom
Sports Dad at Gazette
Batty Nurse at I want to be a Mommy
Ebby at Ebby's Corner

I hope you all Play!

Back to school

I am back to school which started Monday for the last quarter!! Hey I am taking Management, Ethics and Stats (barf). I am having to take stats because my Statistics was older than Five years, which is OK for my bachelors but if I want to continue in January for my Masters I need to retake it so I am taking it this quarter. The only blessing is that Stats is all online. I may not be able to post as frequently as I did in the summer. I go to school on Mondays and have sixty yes 60 clinical hours. Photo courtesy of Fotosearch. I am also working on determining a new direction of this blog so please visit Kim's Photo blog.