It will be Ok Mommy

Working in Labor and Delivery I very seldom have to deal with death and dying, but since I am working on my bachelors and that is one of the classes I am currently taking I have been forced to look at mortality. In the not so distant past I had to assist a mother who was extremely preterm. The infant passed right after delivery only gasping once the mother had been prepared for what to expect, but I as an experienced nurse, I was not ready for the death of someone so small. I had had a number of old people die while under my care in the ER but none so young. It really took me back at how I was able to get through the day but then I just wanted to go home and hold my baby. I was able to compartmentalize my feeling until I got home and then I held my little girl and cried, she did not understand why Mommy was crying. She just let me hold her and patted me on my back as if to say it will be ok. Thinking back I wonder if I should have handled my emotions that way. Was it wrong of me to bring my work home with me? I think that this is my way of coping with the situation, to hold my baby close and cry because I am so thankful for her and what she brings to my life and in all the ways that she teaches me. “It will be Ok Mommy I will sit with you while you cry.”

Today is Father’s day, so to all Happy Father’s Day!!

Today makes me think of the birth of our daughter and how my husband was with our daughter. He is so gentle with her he plays with her, he reads to her, he does her hair; he even takes care of her all night when I am at work.
In the beginning he could not do much because I was breast feeding, so he would change diapers, hold her, and anything that I would ask of him. As a father he wanted to be right there with the birth, early days, and he enjoys watching her grow.
As a father the biggest help you can be to mom and baby is to limit visitors, change diapers, and support your wife in what she wants and needs. My husband was great he was there to change diapers and as time went on has become confident in his abilities as a father, so much so that he cares for our little girl at night while I work.
Happy Father’s day to all and kudos to all DADs who are willing to share the work with a mom who works out side of the home.

Boy Scout Oath (or Promise)
On my honor I will do my best

To do my duty to God and my country

and to obey the Scout Law;

To help other people at all times;

To keep myself physically strong,

mentally awake, and morally straight.

Scout Law

A Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly,

courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty,

brave, clean, and reverent.

From Boy Scouts of America National Council

No one could comprehend the loss of a child, except one who has lost a child. My prayers are with the families of the boy scouts that lost their lives in the tornado and for the families who are experiencing great trials with the flooding in the Midwest. Hold your families close. May you find strength in trials, hope in destruction, and safety in family.

Saving Money

In a day that Gas prices are outrageous, cost of living is increasing, and there seems to be no relief in sight, parents need to save money any way they can. The first way to save money right off the bat is to Breast feed. The average cost of bottle feeding an infant is $1,500 for basic formula according to kidshealth.org. There are hidden savings in breast feeding also, a mother who breast feeds is less likely to call-in to work for a sick infant. The journal of Pediatrics determined in 1999 that a bottle fed infant had $331-475 additional medical expenses in the first year.(1) The next way to save money is look on the back of the products you use the most and cost the most like diapers and formula call the eight hundred number and request coupons. I receive coupons about every two months which saves me about 20-45 dollars, this used to be a tank of gas. My last money saving tip is to shop with a list. I have a note book on the counter next to the frig if I need something it goes on the list, I have taught my husband that he needs to writ things down too, otherwise he does not get them. When we go to the store I get only what is on my list, if I think of something that I am getting low on I add it to my next list, because I usually have a second one at the house. I think this saves me about 30-50 dollars every trip to the store. I do let my little girl pick one thing out that is not on the list, she only gets one thing and if she is not good it goes back, most of the time it is a small item costing about two dollars. I am teaching her to compare prices, looking at the store brands verses the national brands although there are some products like conditioner that I do not elect the cheaper version. Breast feed, find coupons, and us a list to find out just how much money you save, let me know!!!
Sources:
http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/food/infants/breast_bottle_feeding.html

Road blocks to breastfeeding.

As an OB nurse, who breastfed for 2 years, I find it disheartening when mothers react negatively to breastfeeding. I have had patient’s family members make snide remarks about breastfeeding that were completely uncalled for especially in front of a new mother. In my practice I find three main problems First Doctors, Nurses and then Doctors again.
Doctors are first because they see the patient first, they can encourage breast feeding, assessing for inverted or flat nipples, and support. Ways to encourage breast feeding is education at each visit give a mother one bit of information, moms are seen for about seven months prior to delivery that is a lot of tidbits. If the Doctor would take a few second to assess for inverted or flat nipples in the sixth to seventh month the patient could purchase Nipple shields (http://www.medelabreastfeedingus.com/products/breast-care/103/softshells-for-inverted-nipples ). Support could be offered to the expectant mother through referrals to a breast feeding class, breast feeding consultant or the la leche league (http://www.llli.org/resources.html).
The next problem is some nurses, who find it easier to feed an infant with a bottle instead of assisting with breastfeeding. It is understood that not all nurses have breast fed their own children and do not have a large knowledge base to work from, but in most cases nurses do not work alone. When a mother wants to nurse some of the nurses I have worked with have sabotaged breastfeeding unintentionally but none the less the harm is done. The only thing that should go in a breast baby’s mouth is the mother’s breast. THE ONLY THING THAT SHOULD GO IN A BREAST BABY’S MOUTH IS THE MOTHER’S BREAST. No pacifiers, no bottles, no rice cereal, no exception.
Doctors again, there is a misconception that a breast baby has to return to birth weight in one week, this is not true. If the infant is content, having 6-8 wet diapers and 2-5 stools around the third day of life there is not a problem. So many doctors want new moms to supplement to get the weight up on the infant that a good breast milk supply is not established.
As a new mom, trust yourself; if you want to breast feed be your own advocate. Explain to the nurses Before delivery that you want to breast feed ask them to not feed your baby. Ask for help; ask to be seen by the lactation consultant on staff. It is your right as a mother to determine the best care for you and your child.

Screaming in the utility room!

So my husband and I are talking about another baby. I am all for it I think except I don’t know if I want to go through all of the disappointment, the first time is was three years of trying and then months of fertility and puking the whole time, until I had my little girl. You know when I was trying to get pregnant the first time it seemed like every one was having a baby but me. I went to several baby showers in the last year before I got pregnant. The last couple I almost did not make it through without crying. I am not sure that I can do it again, getting my hopes up just to start in the next couple of days. I am thinking that it is only going to be worse this time because I am now working in labor and delivery. I see a lot of great moms but when I have a mother who does not want to take care of their baby I just want to rip her head off now (not pregnant) so how am I going to be with all the hormones racing through my body?? I guess I will just have to breathe in and out, in and out, in and out, and then scream at the top of my lungs in the Utility room, and pray that no one hears me.