No Sleep for the busy!

Wow! Today was a killer. Up at 6 am to go to class, a test and a paper to turn in, in class from 8:30 to 12:30, the test was not bad I guess because I studied for it most of the weekend until Lena decided to use my note cards to draw on. I turned my paper in and if it was for a grade I would not pass, trust me I did not care about it because hey it was not graded or at least I hope it is not graded. I picked Lena up and to the house for our afternoon nap, to lie down and sleep for a couple of hours how wonderful is that, but alas I could not go to sleep, I tossed and turned fighting the bed. So at five we were up getting ready for work. By 7pm I hit the door running and my first opportunity to sit was around 4am so I am about to fall asleep and it is only Monday.

School a Necessary Evil!

Blogging has had to g by the waste side because of school. This quarter is the last for my BSN. This quarter I have all new instructors, one is a corporate DON who has bought in 100% to corporate Nursing, and as a floor nurse, our views are massively different. My total goal, focus, purpose, whatever you want to call it, are my Patients, where as her focus is saving the corporation money at all costs. Don't get me wrong I understand that hospitals need to make money to survive so that we have health care, but my view that people are more important than money. For example when caring for a patient I feel that everyone should be offered an epidural while in labor unless contraindicated for them, but some of our Doctors think that if they do not have insurance then they cannot have one. May be my view will change as this quarter progresses, or not.

My First Blog Award!

Katie at Homemaking 101 has given me my very first blog award! Thank you so much! I write different experiences and share different things, but I enjoy reading other people blogs just as much as I like writing my own if not more. Katie, Thank you for this award I am excited to give to 5 other people, I enjoy these blogs all for different reasons.

1. Batty Nurse, who writes two blogs My life as a Nurse and I want to be a Mommy. Batty Nurse, is a Traveler she writes about her experience as a nurse and the her journey to Mother hood.

2. Elli, who writes ECing and Attachment Parenting, She is one of the coolest people I know. Ellie writes about everything. Ellie is one of the coolest people I know in real life. We enjoy getting together and listening to each other's bad Mommy moments and everything else.

3. Jody who writes Baby Catcher, Jody is one of the bloggers that remind me why I love my job so much. She shares her stories of Labor and delivery, her last post about Tuff Daddies is just wonderful.

4. The Triage Queen who writes Ready to Deliver? Triage Queen is a new blogger, but she just tickles my funny bone with her stories of Labor and delivery. Keep those crazy stories coming!

5. Betty who writes two blogs Army Mom and Geriatric Nursing. Army mom is about Betty's son and David in the Army. Geriatric Nursing is about the older population and good assessment tools that are at times missed.

Again thank you Katie, please take the time to visit any or all of these blogs! They are all great places.

Look at your Patients

I was reading a post from August 30, 2008 on Mitch’s Mom blog about a baby timer; she hit the nail on the head when she said parents look at your babies, it is true they will tell you when they need something. As a nurse I was taught do not rely on your monitors Look at your Patients. Well I worked in the ER before I became an OB nurse, one night I was working with an overzealous young nurse (not me) who saw on the monitor that a patient was in v-fib. Running from the nurses’ station she knocked over a doctor and two chairs. She was on the phone to the operator to call a code before she reached the room. She grabbed the crash cart on the way to the room nearly hitting other bystanders. She ripped open the curtain slung the cart in and laid the man flat. The family jumped up, asking what is wrong. The nurse did not even realize the stunned look on the patient’s face. Until I asked “what is the problem?” She said in a frantic voice “he is in v-fib!” I said “why don't you slow down and ask him how he feels first” she finally lays eyes on the man. She found a man not in distress, although a little nervous about what she was going to do, looking back at her. His reply was “I’m sure as hell glad someone was here to stop you before you started pounding on my chest.” I had been in his room explaining that he was going to the floor talking to him asking question. I had just adjusted his monitor so that we could see the tracing better. She scared the patient, his family and me, by her entrance to the room. I understand the sense of urgency when you have a strip that looks bad but if you hurt yourself getting there or scare the patient you are not doing anyone any favors.

Fears of another Baby

It is interesting to hear other mother’s fears and to know in an instant that Oh My Gosh, I am not crazy! On one of my previous post My Favorite Thing, Milk Mama left me a comment that I could relate too and did not even realize it until I read her comment. “Anna is old enough to be weaned, I'm sad about the fact that we may choose to add more to our family. Would we have the same connection as my daughter and I had? Questions like that.” As I read her words I understood my feelings of sorrow.
Never for a moment would I or Milk Mama be sad to add another baby to our families. I think we are sad, our first born is growing up the infant mother relationship is changing. I feel our babies are not totally reliant on us in every, they are able to go and do on their own. “No, mamma I do it myself!” I know I miss my little girl crawling up to me and asking in such a sweet voice “Nurse Mamma nurse?” I miss having her all to myself for a little while, just our time. I miss the being able to comfort her in an instant. There is nothing that will melt a mother’s heart faster than nursing your baby looking down and having her look up at you smiling with a mouth full of boob.
As a mother I know my birth experience will be different with the next child. I worry that our bond will be different; will they need me as much and Lena? Will they nurse as long as she did? Will I have enough the time, to spend one on one with the next child? When I had Lena she had all of my attention all of the time, I was not worried about anyone or anything else. The next time I will worry about Lena. How will breast feeding change my relationship with my daughter? Will I have time for Lena when I have another baby? What will Lena feel, will she be angry or will she try to be a little Mamma?
How will another baby change the family dynamic? How will my husband and I related to each other and our children when we have another baby? I feel as though I am now second behind my daughter, which is not a bad thing, but I miss our relationship before we had children. (A totally different Post) Will we feel neglected by the other when another baby comes?
I think these are all legitimate fears that most parents have to deal with. I know that I want another child; I want to repeat the wonderful things about Lena’s birth. I want to skip the hard things, I want to just fall into a routine that works where everyone has what they need. In a perfect world that is the way it would be, but nothing is perfect except the little life you create. As parents we travel over the bumpy roads, we endure the sleepless nights, we clean up the spit up, and we make do, just so we can have a glimpse of heaven watching our children learn, grow, and experience life.
I would like to know about your biggest fear when thinking about another child. How will you cope with that fear? Or how have you coped with fears of additional family members? Please comment here or post on your blog and leave me a comment that you posted. I hope that I am not alone.

Feast or Famine

August was a busy month for my little Ob department we had 35 deliveries which is more than we have had in 2 years. Every night in August I had patients which is quite unusual, but a nice change I would rather come to work and work although now that I am in school some quite time is good too. August first we changed to a new computer system that has increased the amount of time it takes to chart anything, so we have all gotten a lot of practice on Sorian (the name of the system).
My first week end of call last month I was out of town unfortunately because I could have racked up on the overtime which would have been nice. Then the rest of the month no one was called in oh well.
Now that it is September we only have 17 due this month so that means lots of low census which really stinks because we have to use our Personal Time for that, or we can choose to not get paid. I know I cannot afford that so I guess I will use some Personal Time. On the nights I work with little or no patients I will be doing homework!