Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Coping with loss

Everyone takes loss in a different way, as a nurse, I thought that a mother who lost an infant should cry. As I previously stated I cared for a mother who lost a child because she was so premature. She looked at the baby for a few seconds and that was it she said she was done. There would be no funeral for her baby; the hospital could dispose of the body. We prepared a memory box for her of pictures, blanket, gown, vital statistics, lock of hair, and wrapped it up so that nothing would be lost or get ruined. She opened it and looked at it, at discharge she left it in the room. I was completely taken by that behavior, I felt like she was relieved that the baby died. Maybe she was able to lean on her religion; maybe her faith gave her the strength to go on knowing that she would see this child again.
I was sad that there was no one to morn for this infant. No one to cry because so many dreams could not be fulfilled, no first steps, no first tooth, there will not be a first day of school, no graduation day, she will not get married for have children of her own. I could not understand why this mother was not morning her daughter, or the things that she would be missing out on. This mother would not know the joys of motherhood of this child, nor of the pleasure of her grandchildren.

1 comment:

AtYourCervix said...

She was mourning, in her own way. Undoubtedly, she will never forget her baby. She may have left the items there upon discharge to try to "forget" her baby, and what she was going through. But I doubt she will ever "forget".